Forum: Jokes & Humor

had a thread on ebwf years ago and it worked out fairly well so for my first thread on the ebn i will try it again. ex. the was a young maiden...

A day before his 15th birthday, the son of a wealthy family was asked by his father, `Well my son, what would you like for your birthday?' The son...

A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting. Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell...

I will start -- A grasshopper walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender gives him the beer and says "Did you know there is a drink...

Only jokes you have come up with yourself. A guy walks up to a blonde bartender and ask for a jack and coke? The blonde bartender says no problem...

What's the best thing about rooting a transvestite? Reaching around and pretending you've gone right through. I bought myself a goldfish the other...

A penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbour is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy and his owner beats him !

that also have sex for pleasure... Do they also masturbate with their sisters' knickers on their head while they stick a flipper up their bum?

...A guy goes into a nice restaurant bar wearing a shirt open at the collar and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain...

q: do you know why giraffe have a long neck? a: their head is too high so they need that long neck to reach that head and connect it to their body

Received this today couldn't stop laughing who can't you relate to this? I went to Bunnings recently while not being altogether sure that course...

Did you hear that Princess Diana was on the radio a couple of weeks ago? Yep, and on the dashboard, and on the window, and on the hood.... ...

Jew: *I think you should listen to what I have to say* You: NO! Anne frankly I don’t care. Jew: *talking about shit* You: Anne frankly I don’t...

He lies awake at night wondering if there really is a dog.

Because you'll turn 360 degrees and walk away from it! BAHAHAH!

Post your best "Yo Mama" jokes. Expample... Yo mama is so black, when she lays on the bed it looks like there's a hole in the sheet. GO!!!

Q: why does michael jackson like twenty eight year olds? A: because there are twenty of them Q: what does a second place olympic medalist and...

Some of these I found funny But I'm not promising anything. These are Jay Leno quality Q. How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company? A....

Diary Entries AUG. 12 Moved to our new home in Iowa. It is so beautiful here. The fields are so majestic. I can hardly wait to see...

thats quite the oxymoron.. anyways, here's the best from Germany: (stolen from another forum) Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm...

A priest goes out fishing with a local fisherman. After a few hours in the boat, the fisherman gets a tug on his line, after an epic struggle, the...

:lmao: :lmao: What can you wear, that never goes out of style? :lmao: :lmao:

A cruise on the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks, and there are only 3 Survivors; Jim, Tom and Susie. They manage to swim to a small...

A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut? The barber looked around the shop full of customers and...

"Four dollars?" Asks the dad? "What do you need with three dollars?" /crickets

It's the same as any version on the old site, but I just made this one and I like it. Also gives people a reason to make some nice ones. Very...

Michael Jackson was ordering take-away from heaven.

"Dear Tide, I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best....

Three. Left ear, right ear and a final front ear.

New thread about random jokes, if it get lols i'll post more... each post will contain 1 to 5 jokes depending on the length in the future... ...

I should probably start this off with one, but i haven't had a funny one, or one worth posting...yet. and i don't care if there's 1 or 2 or 3 or...

cause for some fucked up reason i watched a hermaphrodite get a bj. :shitbricks: :fuu:

Yeah.. It's a White Russian with no ice and no cup. lol?

"That's no 25 foot squalus, that's my wife!" AHahahshehahahahahahsashahaha

this doesn't bode well considering your hockey teams will need to be treated for their burns...

Now your hockey team can finally get that Olympic burn treated..

Someone I know posted this to their facebook - Seems like a good idea if you wanna make a quick buck, cos I've got a feeling about 10 people will...

Time to get a new fence.

...he says "Ma, why's my dick bigga than all the other 3rd graders?" "Is it 'cause I'm black?" His mom says "Nah nigga, it's cause you suppose to...

Because he single-handedly won the Players Championship. lol??

Hi i'm kate McCan and leaving windows open was my idea!

An old Italian lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard. His...

Toyota's new marketing slogan: Once you drive a Toyota, You'll NEVER STOP!!!:wave:

but the best Men's Downhill of all time was Tiger Woods.

Three Haitians walk into a bar. It collapses. Did you hear about the new Haitian boy band? They're called Old Blocks on the Kids. What's three...

A conversation in another thread got me thinking. What is the worst joke you ever heard? One that was so bad, it still haunts your dreams to this...

I love this one. YouTube- Howard Stern - 2010-02-11 - Swap Shop Prank Call With Ham Hands Bill Clips

I have a gay friend, he decided to get a tattoo on his cock. I suggested my personal tattoo artist, he was really excited to use my guy. So I take...

So I just thought of a short idea for a comedy sketch. A woman is sitting in bed reading when her son walks in. Son: Mom, I haven't been...

Mon Feb 01, 2010 A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and blue. Doctor: "What happened?" Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do....

A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken, usually an Irishman's...

antique but here goes so there's this strip bar called Linda's Legs and this man goes in and decides he wants a beer, the bartender says 'sorry...

yo mommma so stupid when she read 'this page intentionally left blank' in a book,she said 'i'm so sorry for blank'

Sound good to you?

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says; "Fuck off, you won't bring it back." A man goes into a library...

Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one. I finally out-drove Tiger Woods. What’s the difference...

How is a Jew different from a pizza? A pizza wont scream in the oven. (Yea, we've all probably heard of this one.)

When he gets there, there was only a dog.

Take the Avatar of the person above you, or their name, and make an assumption about them. Example: My name is Brainy101, so you could comment...

He said it was the most violent book he'd ever read.

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love, the husband always insisted on shutting off the light. Well,...

A man was lying in bed with his new girlfriend. After having great sex, she spent the next hour just rubbing his testicles -- something she...

Q. - What do a walrus and tupperware have in common? A. - They Both Like a tight seal.

and they all fall down.

Company Memo FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: October 1, 2009 RE: Gala...

Yeah.. A bunch Extascy pills shaped like Obama.. I don't know know if its the pill itself or the man on it that gave me a brief powerful high with a...

A biker is riding by the zoo, when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and...

Cultist: Hi. Mind if we talk to you for a while? Nicole: Sure. I invite Jehova's Witnesses into my home, how could I turn down someone wearing a...

This is his Ash Wendsay bookie story, and its pretty goddamn funny. lots of other good artie stories on youtube. YouTube - Artie Lange Ash...

Engineer Speak Engineer says: A number of different approaches are being tried Engineer means: We are still grasping at straws Engineer says:...

I bought a new Ford F250 and returned to the dealer yesterday because I couldn't get the radio to work. The salesman explained that the Radio was...

In the circus ring the audience witnesses a Lion Tamer perform tricks with a lion. Lion Tamer:Now for my next, and most dangerous trick! The...

How long will my sausage be? 2 or 3 inches if you're lucky

Deductive Reasoning John is mowing his lawn when he sees a new neighbor moving in. He stops and steps to the fence to see what the new...

How do you know if you are at a gay barbeque? ..............

Once upon a time in a court of the middle ages, there was a great king who was giving a great banquet. All of his most loyal lords were there, and...

1. Google search: tt0119174 2. ??????????? 3. Profit

What do Ethiopians take to a funeral? Knives and forks How do you steal an Ethiopian's breakfast? Pick his nose while he sleeping What do...

VADER: Because it could not resist the power of the Dark Side. YODA: Crossing the road makes not a chicken great. LUKE: Crossing the road is...

This was in a comment on a video on dailymotion.com yoshimedallion going through the exact thing right now just watching this painful...

http://www.poopreport.com/Ask/Content/stinks.html?from=420&comments_per_page=140 Too many to quote so just enjoy.

The going to hell joke thread got me thinking about the old gross jokes. Post your worst... I'll start... What's grosser than gross? A...

So a pirate walks into a bar and sits up at the bar. The bartender turns around, looks the pirate over, and notices a paper towel on his head....

If a gay guy jumped on you would you beat him off?

A Redneck passed away and left his entire estate to his beloved widow, but she can't touch it 'til she's 14....

Two dudes were having sex anally. Then the phone rings. The guy on top who had his dick in the other guy's poo factory, told the other guy, "Don't...

And the bartender says, WHY THE LONG FACE? And the horse says my wife just died.

whats the difference between your savings account and your girlfriend? (highlight to see answer) after your initial "deposit," you lose interest...

What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her vagina?

A man and his son are hunting for deer. The boy sees a deer with no eyes and says, "Dad, dad!" "What is that?" The Dad replies: "No idea?"